The Power Of The Pivot: How To Beat The Burnout Beast

I’m exhausted.

There, I finally said it.

I’ve spent the last 3 years trying to survive—through COVID, through crazy job search gaslighting, through the hustle of self-employment and juggling the demands of clients and publisher.

I’m tired.

I’m also going through a few major transitions:

I’m moving.

I’m not sure if I want to travel the world or “settle down.”

I’m finding that many more things annoy me right now than inspire me. I’m questioning my line of work and whether to really put my master’s degree to work by exiting my current industry altogether.

I want to make more money but need to learn to better manage it.

I want to be married and cook Sunday dinners.

I want an in-person partner to share moments with and don’t really enjoy traveling solo as much as I used to. (Long-distance love is really challenging at this point, and I’ve been holding on for six years.)

I’ve been overanalyzing everything, including self-care, which, in itself, has even become a hassle.

I’m at an age where I’m asking the most annoying existential question: “What the hell are you doing with your life?”

I’m blessed. I make a nice amount of money. I also have a nice amount of debt and I’m tired of carrying the crown of Independent Black Woman around everywhere I go.

This morning I woke up angry, triggered by faulty fire alarms in my home that woke me up, abruptly out of my sleep—the same ones the maintenance guy claimed he “fixed” and one major reason I’ve come to terms with moving out.

I absolutely hate change and my anxiety heightens even when the change is necessary. I got through this period of gloom and doom where, with a lens of dread and negativity, I question all my desires or choices.

So, whenever I feel this way, it’s good to clear my head by writing and getting back to the simple things I find pleasure in. Tune out the negative thoughts. Immerse myself in a different environment and energy. Put ME first.

I decided to relocate to a coffee shop instead of staying in the manic empty place I’ll be saying goodbye to in a few days. And I sat in my car thinking about the reasons I could be feeling burned out…

What did I come up with? Well, for me, burnout is happening because I need to radically pursue what it is I want out of life and stop coasting. I need to really lean into what I want.

Maybe let that relationship go.

Maybe look for another job and put self-employment on pause (or a least only do it on the side for extra cash).

Really sit down, quietly, and focus on self: a budget, a vision board, and really put more into my own writing and creative endeavors. Figure out what I really find important for life and radically pursue that.

It’s hard. I’m a Capricorn who planned out my life from age 9. I knew I wanted to live in New York, have beautiful clothes and designer shoes and bags, and get away from my small-town country family and surroundings. I did that, but it was a half-ass, warped version but I did that.

Now what?

Let’s radically pursue the answers to that. Burnout is a symptom, not a solution. God is great.

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